His high endeavors are an inward light, 
that makes the path before him always bright.
~ William Wordsworth 

Bumps beneath the blanket,
outcrops in the stream,
we are all
in the big picture;
Inextricably linked,
cogs in the wheels
of cause and effect.  
Our separateness;
mental constructs
of ceilings in believing,
first rites of refusal,
funnels of desolation,
in now or never land.  
Choices vaporize
as polarized perceptions narrow,
scrambling to recover
what was never lost;
Dodging the lows
we also miss the highs,
dwelling in hollow mediocrity.  
And then…  
Our truth intact;
dancing softly with our shadows
cheek to cheek with darkness,
surviving skeptic seas of incredulity,
we are transported unto
terra firma,
the land of equanimity.  
What is time?
but mental projections,
the haze of past daze,
attachment to tomorrows,
lessons, only lessons,
they’re all lessons;
can only happen
here and now.  
Splendid seeds of sorrow,
sprouting love and compassion,
crops wanting for the harvest
to take them home.  
Seeking the golden mean,
we take loving steps
toward redemption,
flourishing fervently
in our sacred soil
where emancipated
we declare
outer peace
on inner war.  
Relentless in the pursuit
of the untangled mind,
gaping heart,
acquiescent body
be coming,
manifest destiny.
Thy will be done,
not my will,
Thy will be done.

Copyright © Henri Ferguson 2012 All rights reserved

Author Notes  

Living is about learning, life itself is the teacher and school is always in; being present and paying attention is a function of choice. At times this “schooling” becomes  an incredibly steep and formidable learning curve; a trial by fire as it were. Try as we might to go around it (with denial and avoidance) we inevitably discover time and again that we must go through this fire…willingly. Years ago a friend who was going through a messy divorce remarked, “I know there is something that I need to learn from all this, but in those moments when I can’t go there it just feels like another fucking growth experience that I did not ask for.” Most of us can relate to that sentiment.

Storms of life have many faces and when it is the mug of cancer and its target is Michelle, my wife; anger, avoidance and denial become my weapons of choice all the while understanding their inherent futility. With time, patience, the help of loving friends and family I find my way to clarity and avow that “whatever happens we will handle it”. There is much discipline and practice required to make this stick and give me the traction to not slide backwards. Without framing this in any religious context it occurs to me that Thy will be done, not my will, but Thy will be done.