“On life’s journey
Faith is nourishment,
Virtuous deeds are a shelter,
Wisdom is the light by day and
Right mindfulness is the protection by night.
If a man lives a pure life nothing can destroy him;
If he has conquered greed nothing can limit his freedom”


Everything happens for a reason… ostensibly…
the good stuff, the bad stuff, the who cares stuff,
yet when drowning in the vortex of this life affecting crisis
those reasons prove to be
elusive and hollow verbiage. 

Case in point; the love of my life has cancer,
for the second time;
she, a brave soldier on a hostile battlefield
fighting for what she believes in;
to exist.  

Vulnerability meets mortal,
distills to
wrong, unfair, why…
why cancer, why her?
poignant futility personified.  

Domino effect of dead end conclusions
bottoms out in a trough
of frustrated anger,
and caustic derision for equanimity,
I scream out in vain. 

No response, 
as if…
who would respond?
and what would they say?
This is an imploding monologue,
not a conversation.
and then, 

From far afield,
through leaking eyes
I see them,
angels of mercy
shimmering light
into darkness. 
Vicariously self rewarded
through moral integrity
deed doers manifesting difference
not from obligatory duty, but simply 
because they can. 
Brimming this chalice of despair
with heartfelt
intentions of grace,
bountiful benevolence,
love in action. 

Copyright © Henri Ferguson 2012 all rights reserved
Author Notes  
This hideous cancer journey is a mind numbing, gut wrenching and soul depleting experience for which precise language and preparation does not exist. Still we forge on with precarious balance on that tightrope that now defines existence. The good news is that they will only have to remove part of her lung; the good newsis that the doctors found another brain tumor and will be able to radiate that one with the others, the good news is that Michelle may be able to have chemo closer to home and not have to make those long commutes in the throes of nausea. That is a lot of good news.  

The real good news is that angels step out of the shadows with impeccable timing knowing precisely what is called for and when to make that heart driven, soul inspiring difference that only love in action can do. We want to express our deepest gratitude and extend a heartfelt “Thank You” to: Michelle’s mom Paula and “Papa Denis”, Tom and Jane, Brenda and George, Heather, Traci, Sue Anne, the legions of family members and lifetime friends from Michelle’s childhood on the Gentle Island, and Elaine who opened her heart and accommodation for us in Calgary. Blessings, you are all angels, Love in Action.